To Date or Not to Date?

Dating... I have been thinking about this question for a bit, mostly because I have been asked out quite a few times recently. It has been decades since I have had a “first date."  And I’ve been single for a few years now. I think it would be nice to be courted. Do they still do that in the dating world?

While it would be nice to have a theater companion, a dinner date that appreciates a good red, or someone to explore a new city with, the search for such a person is presently uninteresting. I have friends with whom I can do some of these things.  I love and appreciate them.  It's not quite the same, is it?

Friends Always Want to Help

One friend keeps telling me that is the way to go. She met her husband there and they are sickeningly and maddeningly in love to this day. She's my age, he is just a few years older. Both said the people they met through the site, before each other  of course, who were wonderful to interact with and meet. 

Another friend offered advise. He's a few years older and a serial dater by choice. He said is what I should join. I thought he was joking! I'm young for an empty-nester, 48 this year. No way was I going to purposely seek out a senior citizen. My bad.  I immediately thought it was for people 63 and older. Thankfully, he laughed rather than take offense. Then he explained it's for people 50 and over - not the old nor the feeble. He showed me some of the woman he's been out with and corresponding with. They're nice-looking ladies. Maybe he is onto something.

Do you see a running theme? Older Women, Senior Match? I'm not sure why this is kind of annoying. I mean, I am older.

A very sweet friend from high school sings the highest praise, no pun intended, for two other sites. Catholic Match and Christian Cafe. I love her, but I'm not sure I am ready for any site!

Do These Dating Websites Really Work? Nisi Wanders

Are They Serious?

Another girlfriend, this one single and a couple of years older than myself, is on Seriously! She swears this is her ticket to the good life. No judgement here. If it's working for her, then good on her, right? She has not met the man of her dreams, yet. But, she has gone on some wonderful  and exciting dates through this site. Hot air ballooning, day-trips Napa, just to name a few. She even attended a fancy ball (for literacy or something like that) at a swanky Sacramento hotel.

This same woman is also on  Supposedly "Dr. Phil" recommended it! She is my polar opposite in personality. Soooo, I am not really sure about this.  But, she is having a blast. At our family dinner last Sunday this site actually came up in conversation - though for the life of me I cannot remember why. It was just my children, their partners, the grandkids, and I. It seems it's a very well-known site for meeting people.

When Everyone You Know Has an opinion on Your Love life - NisiWanders

Different Strokes & All

A few years back I used the excuse that it was too soon. A few people I know are on their second and third marriages. My girlfriend was single for 2 years, after a 17 year marriage, before her next wedding took place. My cousin was single not much longer after her divorce before she accepted a proposal from a new man. So many are ready to jump right back in!

I am happy for others when they find what they want. Yet,  I simply do not understand why they would want to commit so quickly. Then again, I know a very smart, handsome, engaging man that dates and has monogamous relationships, yet he gets screwed over more often than not. So, maybe I do understand why one would commit so quickly – the alternative can be unattractive.

How You Will Know When It Is Time To Start Dating Again - Nisi Wanders

I know dating doesn’t mean one must fall in love and become a life-partner with someone else immediately. I still find myself straying from it at every turn. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big flirt at times. And the men that have asked me out have been nice guys all. Yet in each case, I deemed my own company as preferable. Not because I am always a barrel of laughs either. 🙂 Maybe I am just lazy!

Anyone have any experience with dating sites? I need input from people besides my friends who really want me to get back in the game.  I need thoughts from others besides my children who still may not be ready to think of Mom on a date. And, I definitely need input from folks besides the men I know that want to be with me 🙂 on what it is really like on dating sites. The sites like the good ones I have heard about above. 

For now, I'm going to table the question. I  have no idea what my next step will entail.  Where I end up I truly have no clue. I am hoping the journey itself will provide some answers.


Want to know more about online dating sites? Read my post on the subject.

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2 Comments on "To Date or Not to Date?"

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I really hope that you do find someone. But at the same time I only hope that you will find happiness, with or without someone by your side.

Preethika GN

I have never explored any of these dating sites. And I must say thank god for helping me find THE RIGHT MAN. It was easy peesy for me 😀